A report on the Coulter Grass Autotest held on Sunday 21 July 2013 written by Donald MacDonald (anyone who writes for these pages is a hero of mine – wm). Thanks also to Shonah for the images.
For some of the entrants, usually of a certain age, who on occasion have found themselves at the mid-point of a staircase unable to remember whether they were going up or going down, this was the Autotest from hell! With a total of 30 “Wrong Directions” (WD) recorded, the tests laid out by Brian Hopkins clearly placed a greater emphasis on memory power rather than horsepower.
Through all the carnage the autotest maestro, Andy Baillie kept a clear head and a clean sheet to emerge as outright winner and the winner of class 3 for rear wheel drive sports cars. He also managed to keep his hands clean, wearing a pair of leather gloves in the 28 degree temperatures – perhaps that’s the secret! Pushing Andy hard was the serene Sam, stealthily steering swiftly around the buckets to record another clean sheet to give her second overall and in class 3.
In class 4, for cars with limited slip differentials (LSD’s), Dougie dug deep demonstrating the Toyota’s diminutive dimensions disdainfully dismissed disparate disciplines with ease to record a class win. Several of the sages present were making mental notes regarding the suitability of the little MR2 for the type of events run by MSCC.
No report regarding class 4 would ever be complete without mentioning Scott Clements with his long suffering Hillman Imp. Scott definitely won the entertainment award for the day. The Imp appears to have a switch in place of a throttle pedal and bets were being placed on when the pistons would make a break for freedom.
Fraser Ewart tamed the fearsome Bentley Special to win the Bentley class from a hard charging Jock McKinnon. Fraser’s efforts netted fourth place overall.
The Ladies award went to Aileen Parr as her competitor for the ladies award managed no fewer than 4 WD’s on six tests and managed to hit a bucket on one of the remaining two! She has been muttering about it ever since.
What, you may ask became of the test designer? Intent on challenging for outright honours with Marion’s latest MX5 complete with LSD, he managed 3 WD’s, hit a bucket on one test and destroyed a bucket on another! (Scott – you shouldn’t have told him about the DSC button)
All competitors would like to thank the marshals who stood out in the blazing sun and timed each of the tests, even if they did insist on liberally adorning our time cards with “WD”.
For those who didn’t attend, (strangely there were no class 1 FWD saloon entries) you missed a great event with a lovely garden party atmosphere and excellent banter.
